Rob McQueary Creative Change, Following Jesus, Scripture as Source, Sharing Life, Spiritual Progress

Scrapping My Plans

blueprintWe were asked to write in my senior yearbook about what we thought we’d be doing years down the road. I don’t remember the assigned numeric value of said reach. Of course answers ranged from silly to sillier with a dash of serious. Without searching through dozens of boxes for the exact words, I can tell you that my attempt was a mixture of the silly and the serious. I predicted that I would be taking over the 700 Club from Pat Robertson. That was my plan… or some version of it.

Truthfully I spent a good portion of my adulthood as the anarchist who revolted against planning. I took pride in the fact that I was a go-with-the-flow guy. This began to change when I became a leader of leaders and learned that my style did not translate to the majority of those I was attempting to lead. They wanted to know the plan. Where are we going? How do you expect us to get there? These became questions that would simultaneously frustrate me and mature my ability to lead.

The older I become the more I value planning. I try not to get uptight about it, but I do my homework, pray about it much, and read incessantly to help me formulate my plans. This was certainly my practice in getting ready to start a church. I read every book that was even suggested to me, interviewed dozens of guys who had done it, and even learned from people who had rejected faith for a variety of reasons. I had a plan. In all the ways that matter, my plan worked. My greatest boast is that there are a few dozen people (most of whom are still in my life today) who have a different impression of Christianity because of the actions associated with those plans. But in May of 2012 it was time to stop. In the ultimate sense, depending on your perspective, the plans had either run their course or they had not worked. I choose to think the former.

In the days since – and for the better part of 2 years – I have been learning to work through that unplanned reality. I haven’t really written about it until now because I have not been ready to write. Last night I was watching the DVR of the season finale of Criminal Minds and this quote was the sendoff…

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. – Joseph Campbell

Yes. Yes. And, yes. This is what I’ve been learning. Admittedly I have had a tough time moving on from this life event. But as I rewound and replayed that quote last night I felt a freedom in my spirit that has been mostly absent. Sometimes we have to let go of the things we had planned so we can get on with the things that are yet to come. Be free. These verses from Scripture say mostly the same thing.

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.

For now I continue to work as a salesman for my day job and am starting to serve again through our great church that we’ve been called to be part of at The Bridge.

Rob McQueary Following Jesus, Scripture as Source, Sharing Life, Social Action

An Eye for An Eye

death penaltyComedian Ron White hails from the great state of Texas. Part of his routine includes a bit about the death penalty…

That’s right, if you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back. That’s our policy.

That would be funny, except that it isn’t. Most of us do not need any convincing regarding the seriousness of this issue. In recent weeks the debate about the usefulness and appropriateness of the death penalty has been re-ignited. It is my firm belief that as a Christian you should have an opinion on this. Your opinion should not be based on quippy sayings like, “What goes around comes around.” Your opinion should be based on the Scripture… all of it.

We’ll finish with the Scripture part. Allow me to make an intellectual appeal in the middle. In addition to what the Scriptures have to say about this issue, I would also appeal to the same sense of justice that has previously led many Christians to side with the death penalty. No one can deny or ignore the finality of death. There are no do-overs with the death penalty. Sadly there are far-too-many documented cases where innocent men were put to death. This should at least bother us. What if the sentence was unjust?

Finally, I would like to end with the Bible’s take on the death penalty. I am well aware of the Old Testament passages that contain the title of this post. So, yes, I agree that at one point in time the death penalty was instituted by God as part of the old covenantal system. However when Jesus references this very text in Matthew 5, he does so only to highlight that the New Covenant is the fulfillment of what was incomplete under the Old Testament law. This could certainly include capital punishment. Have discussions and debates. In so doing, understand that many of the cultural laws of the Old Testament have been relieved by coming of Jesus. The gospel trumps all.

Rob McQueary Sharing Life

Throw Like A Girl

mom“You throw like a girl” is a rude and derogatory phrase that is most often meant as an insult to women. Even when it is given in biological context (as it is HERE), it still reeks of male condescension. On this Mother’s Day I’d like to turn the phrase on its head. Of course there are biological differences between men and women. Unless you count that one movie when Arnold Schwarzenegger did, I’ve never heard of a man being able to reproduce offspring. We are created biologically different. But that fact does not make men superior… just… different.

Ask any (honest) man who has had to be solely in charge of the kids for any length of time. You will likely hear stories of nearly avoided (or not avoided) disasters that ensued because the poor guy was attempting things that he often does not do on a regular basis. I am in such a season presently with my wife working outside the home a bit more than usual. And even though I’ve been a dad for almost 20 yrs. now, have found myself doing things that are normally out of my purview.

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who happens to shop at my wife’s place of employment, jokes that “women may do 99% of the work, but we men are more proud of our 1%”. I’m not sure about his numbers, but in most households it is true that women typically do more than men. My point in writing this is not an attempt to domesticate men, though some of that might be a good thing. Nor am I pining for the “good ole days” when women were expected to be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant.

I am simply stating today that I recognize, with fresh eyes, that moms are rock stars and superheroes when it comes to the responsibilities they are able to simultaneously handle. A mom can fix a girl’s hair for church while she is preparing a meal… and doing her own makeup. Almost every morning on my route I see those same women driving 2,000 lb. vehicles and applying same said makeup. They pay bills and clean toilets and arbitrate sibling violence and… and… and… they do it all with grace and style. Most of what they do is seldom if ever credited. Most of what they do is behind the scenes. Take one simple thing. When was the last time most of us had to be responsible for preparing over 1,000 meals in a single year, all the while attempting to satisfy the picky eaters, the meat eaters, and the vegetarians?

To my mom (pictured above), you are an amazing and selfless woman who is more than deserving of all the accolades that will come your way today. You gave birth to, and managed to keep from killing, four strong-willed children who certainly tested every nerve in your body. Born a small-town Indiana girl, you have become a globe-trotting woman who seems to fear no new setting. And when caring for a mom was as important as being one, you have put your own plans on hold to help your sis care for your own mother. The more I mature as a parent, the greater appreciation I have for all the roles that you filled in our home as we were all coming of age.

Though I am firmly committed to my own masculinity, today I have a growing appreciation for what it means to throw like a girl.

Rob McQueary Following Jesus, Sharing Life, Spiritual Progress

Love Exceeds Polarity

polarityThe so-called law of attraction postulates that like attracts like. For centuries this was presumed to be so and certainly there is truth to it. Fast forward to 1950 and a sociologist named Robert F. Winch introduces a theory that “opposites attract”. There is sufficient data to prove that at any given moment both may be true. But can this be true when the subject is connected to matters of religion? Is it possible for religious opposites to respect one another?

A friend of mine (who happens to be an Atheist) recently wrote a piece entitled The Difficulty of Respect, trying to get to the heart of these questions. His thoughts drove me back to my own thinking about why/how I am able to maintain genuine friendships with people who, not only do not believe what I do, but may even believe the opposite of what I believe… in terms of faith.

In my view, the answer is as simple and complex as the title of this post. True love is unconditional love. It isn’t merely lip service… saying I love someone. It isn’t love according to the law of attraction… loving only or primarily those who look like me (spiritually). True love exceeds polarity! I have previously written on this subject in similar fashion HERE.

Here is a brief bullet-point summary of how I try to live this out…

  • love doesn’t ignore polarity
  • love doesn’t force-feed religion
  • love doesn’t hide differences
  • love does seek to hear the perspective of others (especially when we don’t agree)
  • love does welcome opportunities to answer faith questions (when they are asked)
  • love does love someone whether or not they ever share my views on faith

I’ve lost some friends because of this thinking. Sadly all of them were Christians. Sadly they don’t understand the nature of the love that the Bible teaches. I understand that this kind of love is difficult to live out… for some of us more than others. But this is the way of Jesus. And as I always like to say, if the gospel (good news) matters, it has to matter in context. If you tell people that Jesus loves them, but you will not, what is that? Polarity is real. Especially in our current culture we have viewpoints that diametrically oppose one another. Biblical love exceeds polarity.

Rob McQueary Sharing Life

When I Run

chariots of fireAt the end of this month I will have been running for two years solid… well, solid with a few setbacks. To celebrate said milestone I’d like to borrow a somewhat famous line from the 1981 movie Chariots of Fire. The movie chronicles the real life story of Eric Liddell, a Christian from Scotland who came from a family of missionaries doing work in China. The now-famous quote is spoken when Liddell’s sister is chiding him because she feels that his running is becoming more important than his faith. His response is, “I believe that God made me for a purpose. But He also made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure.”

When I Run

What beautiful words! And words that I have never uttered while running. When I run, I am actually not feeling anyone’s pleasure. Not God’s and least of all my own. So why bother? That is a question I have asked myself often on this journey. The above graphic is an honest demonstration (notice, you can’t spell that word without a demon). Running has been both a friend and a foe. This is going to sound very strange. Mostly, when I run, I am running against one of the oldest enemies… my own slothfulness.

So, when I run, I do gain the obvious health benefits. I’ve dropped a fair amount of weight and started playing some soccer again. I’m also putting together a team to start playing softball in a few weeks. When I run, I am gaining so much more, though. Running has been a form of therapy for me. No phone calls. No sales quotas. No pressure… except for me pushing myself to go harder. I’m working to feel my best ever at 50. I’m on the right path. That’s what I feel when I run.

Rob McQueary Following Jesus, Scripture as Source, Spiritual Progress

No Greater Joy

joyAll of my adult life I have been a teacher. I am in my element when I am helping people understand the message of the Bible and what following Jesus entails. The season that I am currently in has allowed for (even demanded) moments of deep reflection. This week I’ve been thinking through the things that have made me most happy in my life. The one I kept coming back to is a phrase that Paul, the apostle, used versions of often…

I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children live in truth. – 3 John 4

Here is what the phrase has meant to me…

  • joy because of people who have chosen to follow Jesus
  • joy because of people who have fallen away and come back
  • joy because of people who have grown in their faith
  • joy because of people who have been honest with their doubts
  • joy because of people who have expressed thanks

So the joy of my heart has been people. First and last are those that share my last name and my address. And after my family I have been blessed to share life with hundreds and thousands of people. From the United States, Mexico, Hungary, the Ukraine, and Russia. I have friends around the world who have brought me joy as they live in truth. If you are one of them, thank you so very much.

Rob McQueary Book Reviews, Following Jesus, Scripture as Source, Sharing Life, Spiritual Progress

The Noah Movie: Storytelling

NoahLet’s begin where the Book does…

5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. 7 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

Genesis 6:5-7 KJV

Let’s allow the movie to begin where it desires to as well (these are the first words at the top of the movie’s website)…

The film is inspired by the story of Noah. While artistic license has been taken, we believe that this film is true to the essence, values and integrity of a story that is a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide. The biblical story of Noah can be found in the book of Genesis.

 Since its March 28th release (and before, really) I have had the advantage (and in some cases, disadvantage) of reading many passionate reviews… all before I had seen the movie. I was reminded that some of us actually read reviews to decide whether or not we will go to the theater to see a movie. So reviews have their place. As usual, I come to this evaluation process from a bit of a different angle. For the last 20+ yrs. I have been a professional storyteller. You may look at my resume and wonder why a pastor would call himself that, but that’s exactly what we who deliver sermons are doing… we are telling and retelling the stories found in the Scriptures.

If you were/are looking to the Noah movie to retell the story word-for-word as the Scripture does, I am nearly certain that you will walk away as many have… disappointed. However, most of us who attend Christian churches would be equally disappointed if we showed up to a worship service and the sermon for the day was solely the reading of Scripture. We want to know some perspective. How does that text apply to my life? What am I supposed to do or be because of what the Scripture teaches? I think this movie does both masterfully. Here a few of the high points that stood out to me:

  • total ownership of why God was destroying the earth… the wickedness of man… sin
  • acknowledging God as Creator
  • even enumerating the very acts of creation day by day
  • showing Noah as the righteous yet fallen human that he was
  • even the weird stuff (you already have your list) does not diminish the power of the story

So even if you don’t end up liking the movie, let’s be the ones that are known for what we are for instead of what we are against. May this retelling of the story of Noah cause audiences to consider the greatness and grace of our God.

Rob McQueary Extending Forgiveness, Following Jesus, Scripture as Source, Sharing Life, Social Action

Calling Foul On the World Vision Debacle

New Orleans Saints v Green Bay PackersIn case you missed it, this week World Vision decided then un-decided to amend its hiring policy as it relates to same-sex couples. In my view this now-event highlights the growing polarity that exists within Christianity as well as the majority of the American culture. Frankly I am most often at odds with both extremes of this continuing expanse. Sadly, Christian voices seem to echo the intentional brashness modeled by news agencies such as FOX and MSNBC. Two examples worth reading are those drawn up by Rachel Held Evans (representing the left, if you will) and one drawn up by Trevin Wax of the Gospel Coalition. In my view both sides give in to sensationalism and, at times, plain untruths – whether intentional or unintentional.

So, I call, “Foul!” I wish that the reality was in keeping with the above NFL-tied picture. I wish that these were offsetting penalties. Unfortunately they are not. This kind of infighting only makes Christianity look arrogant and as equally confused as the rest of the culture seems to be.

Not ironically, I have many common friends with each of the above authors. I also wrote to both of them soliciting some clarifications. Neither responded in time to be included in this post.

Here are few scattered thoughts that I think “both sides” could afford to consider in their writing:

  1. arguments based in emotion are typically short-lived
  2. you could be wrong… allow for that in your language
  3. throwing rocks is sophomoric and unfruitful
  4. the gay/lesbian issue is not going away… we have to learn to handle it better
  5. what you say is always trumped by how you say it

Having said all of that, I understand how and why many in the evangelical world spoke out. Unfortunately, in my opinion, the gay issue is likely to become a benchmark issue for people of faith. I say unfortunately because I find the attention given to this issue to be incongruous with the scope of Scripture. While many have made it a touchstone issue, the Scriptures (by proportion to today’s attention), give it little. In fact, some of you are reading right now mainly to determine if I have come down on “the right side of the issue”.

I have MANY gay friends. And, yes, I am proud of that. Because I have worked hard to earn and keep those friendships. Most of my hard work has had to come because of the ignorance and cruelty of many so-called Christians. People that have spoken and acted in hatred toward people who are gay. 100% of my gay friends know my theological position regarding their sexuality. And if you ask any of them – and if we know the same people, feel free to ask – they will tell you that I have and will always show them the love of Jesus as true friends.

The bottom line in this story for me is that I don’t know why Richard Stearns and the board of World Vision thought their initial revised position was a necessary step. I’m not sure that I would have made the same initial decision if it was mine to make. However, I’m equally bothered that they could change course so quickly when pressured. Why would such a weighty decision that was presumably prayed about and considered deeply be abandoned because of the cacophony of the masses? Policymaking should be done slowly on the basis of principle… not constituents.

So the biggest foul for me continues to be the way in which Christians express their varying points of view. If we say we are trying to follow Jesus, the way we express ourselves matters as much or more than having the “right position”.

Rob McQueary Extending Forgiveness, Following Jesus, Scripture as Source, Social Action, Spiritual Progress

Weeping With Westboro

Westboro Baptist Church Case to be Heard by Supreme CourtMost of the tears I have shed in the last many years with regard to the Westboro Baptist Church have been because of their actions. However, Romans 12:15 also reminds those of us who follow Jesus that we are to…

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

And so today we weep. As difficult as it may be, we weep at the passing of Fred Phelps. Mr. Phelps, I will not do him the honor of calling him by any other name, was clearly a tormented soul. But he was a soul. One for whom Jesus died… even if he did not have a clue what following Jesus was supposed to entail.

There will be a day when it is appropriate to talk about the legacy of Mr. Phelps. Today is not that day. May he rest in the peace that he so often attempted to refuse to others.

Rob McQueary Following Jesus

Just Be Nice

be niceI’m writing this post now because of the new tone I am trying to set in my own life. It’s easy for me to be nice to people I agree with. It’s pretty easy for me to be nice to people I like. But insert a person who does not fit as one of the aforementioned, and I am tempted to leave my niceness behind.

Some of the most difficult words of Jesus for me to live out are those found in Luke 6:32-36 that say…

32 “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! 33 And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! 34 And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. 35 “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. 36 You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.

Sadly, being nice is not often an identifying characteristic of those of us who say we follow Jesus. Instead, too often we are drawn in to discussions that look and sound more like arguments and mean-spirited debates rather than the compassionate conversation we should be modeling. We call names and demonize individuals and their positions with which we cannot identify.

There must be a better way. We should hold our convictions as charitably as we do firmly. Engage in discourse. Learn how others – especially those we may not agree with – form their convictions. Is there a better way? There is, in fact… just be nice.

Rob McQueary Extending Forgiveness, Following Jesus, Sharing Life, Social Action

The Importance of Black History Month

black-history-monthThe best thing you can do this month may also be the most painful… remember. Since 1976, as a nation, we have officially recognized the month of February as Black History Month. Educate yourself. Feel. Think. Remember.

Read the Facts
Thankfully (and sadly) there is no shortage of information about the atrocities of the black struggle. Just as you study any other time period, read. And read broadly. Read people you know you agree with. Read people you know you disagree with. Read people you don’t know. In this collective reading you will arrive at the facts.

Listen to Stories
Simply reading the facts of the Civil Rights Movement though falls woefully short. It is too easy to challenge numbers or doubt history. When this history and these numbers begin to take shape is when they are attached to real people and their stories. Hollywood gets this. That’s the power of “42”… the Jackie Robinson story and “The Butler”… the story of Cecil Gaines… and other such stories. They help us to see that black history is about black people. People made in the image of God just like you and me. These same individuals were often treated like cattle and worse. Listen.

Talk About It
An important part of education is discussion. As you gather facts and hear the stories of those who lived in that hell, talk about what you are finding. Allow discussion to challenge and deepen your observances. Ask questions of friends of color. They obviously have a different perspective than you on each of the previous two categories.

Empathize
You will not always be able to understand. Reading, listening, and talking affect each of us differently. But each of us can feel. Each of us can read the facts, listen to the stories, and continue to learn by talking about it. And in so doing we begin to see black history for what it is… awful, embarrassing, and a blight to Christians who stood idly by… and much, much worse. Allow that to change you. Know the difference between sympathy and empathy. Expose your heart.

So this February and hereafter, remember what you’d rather not.