I’d like to begin by exposing my qualifications for writing on this topic. For the last 44+ years I have been trying to discover who I am. Like you, there have been times I thought I was getting close and many more moments that I simply did not have a clue. And while this is entirely a human problem, it manifests itself most particularly in western men. We throw ourselves into our work (which in some ways, we were meant to) and in the end have a difficult (if not, impossible) time distinguishing who we are from what we do.
There is a scene in Disney’s The Lion King that has always highlighted this reality well. Though, ironically, even its answer is incomplete.
Rafiki: Asante sana Squash banana, Wiwi nugu Mi mi apana.
Simba: Come on, will you cut it out?
Rafiki: Can’t cut it out. It will grow right back. Hehehe.
Simba: Creepy little monkey. Would you stop following me! Who are you?
Rafiki: The question is, who… are you?
Simba: [sighs] I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure.
Rafiki: Well, I know who you are! Shh. Come here, it’s a secret.
[Whispers, then grows louder]
Rafiki: Asante sana Squash banana, Wiwi nugu Mi mi apana!
Simba: Enough already! What’s that supposed to mean, anyway?
Rafiki: It means you’re a baboon… and I’m not.
Simba: I think you’re a little confused.
Rafiki: Wrong! I’m not the one who’s confused. You don’t even know who you are!
Simba: Oh, and I suppose you know?
Rafiki: Sure do. You’re Mufasa’s boy!
[Simba turns around to look at him, shocked]
The Challenge of Western Thought
In the west we have come to largely, if not exclusively, value people based on external factors. Don’t believe me? Describe the majority of questions on a typical job application. Contact Information, Education, Work History, etc. – in general, these are the quick and seemingly sensible ways we categorize each other, yet they are wanting. Before we get too far down this path, I am not completely voting to eliminate all elements of western thinking. I’m advocating for an expansion of this way that can lead us toward identity.
This typical classification reinforces that the highest personal value is what school one is able to afford, their race and gender, and what companies have benefitted from their presence. There are certainly times when these questions are relevant, but they leave us with little to no understanding of the individual. One can attend the finest school in the country and pay or push or cheat their way through. Don’t even get me started on race and gender. And just because you’ve worked for a Fortune 500 company does not guarantee that you are a person of character who made them better by your having worked there.
The Challenge Is Gender-Inclusive
I do believe men tend to struggle with this more deeply than women for a number of reasons. First, is the myopia of men. We are generally nearsighted. This is why we can only see well the things closest to us. Most guys deal with things one at a time until they are finished. Second, western culture has assigned the highest male value to the answer to the question, “What do you do?” Ask any man. This is almost always one of the very earliest introductory questions in any social setting.
But don’t think this automatically excludes women. Have you seen the Facebook footprints of most young mothers? What will you find? Pictures of children. Normal enough, I suppose. But every day and every tooth and step and…? Some moms even go so far as to exchange their own profile picture for one of their child. Women are equally challenged to distinguish their role and their identity.
The Way Forward
While I am unapologetically Christian and run all of this through that grid, I think these principles translate to anyone. There are three primary things that I am learning to do. They incorporate the values that we have come to know in the five senses. I see taste, touch, and smell as relatives that all embody experience. Sight is manifested in our ability to observe both ourselves and all that surrounds us. And hearing, surely in our context, is much more than the ability to distinguish sound… it is all about listening. Let’s deal with them in reverse order of their mention above:
As we seek to know who we are this may be the most valuable asset of all in discovering our identity. Listening includes study and silence and the discipline of making space for those things. It is also about hearing from others. There are people who know me as well or better than I know myself. I have found great advantage in allowing them to speak into my life as well.
This may be the most difficult of the three. It involves a different set of measurements than the ones with which we are familiar. It values presence over completion. It is as much about awareness as it is discovery. Observation can, and probably should, include all of the five senses. This takes time. It requires being in tune to whispers within that we are not even accustomed to hearing at all. In time the combination of what you hear for yourself and from others will mix with what you are observing in the world around you and lead you to the final principle.
Some of knowing who you are is simple trial and error. How can you know something is in or out, if you have never attempted it? For me, at least, this has not been about shots in the dark. I allow my even my experiences to be informed by my listening and observing. And while I am involved an experience that may play a major part in my identity, I put my listening and observing skills into overdrive. Amazingly these disciplines become skills that help me know who I am.
In the end I hope to learn, as Simba did, that I am not just someone’s son (though I am proudly that). I am the only version of me that has ever been created. And in a culture that sadly emphasizes being one of the “cool kids”, I am most interested in discovering the uniqueness that is me.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do…
Sounds simple, you say? I suppose at first reading, it may. But when you start to think of its application, and further, its implication, the admonition becomes downright scary. For the thinking person, the questions are likely to start flowing. How do you trust in something/one that is invisible? Does not depending on your own understanding necessitate suspending your intellect? Does seeking his will mean abandoning my own desires? And these are all fair (and answerable) questions. Let’s tackle each of them.
How do you trust in something/one that is invisible?
The answer is simple… notice I did not say easy. The only way to trust is to decide that you are going to attempt to trust. Look at another reality in which this is difficult – the fear of flying. For some, the thought of trusting the technology of an airplane to safely transport them is crippling. So how do you conquer that fear? Unless you are a former hulking NFL football player/commentator, the answer cannot be not flying. And, sorry Mr. Madden, that cannot be the answer for you either. To conquer fear we must fight it. That gets us headed in the right direction with trusting Jesus, too.
Does not depending on your own understanding necessitate suspending your intellect?
For an unfortunate number of Christians it would seem that the answer is all-too-often, “yes”… but, no! No, not depending on your own understanding and suspending your intellect are not the same thing. So exactly how does this work? It works by admitting that I don’t know exactly all of how it works. There is a required humility that is the linchpin in this entire discussion. If you believe that your thoughts are the beginning and end of all discussions, not only will this be woefully apparent to others, it will also be repellant. I prefer to focus on what this means instead of what it does not. For me this is about admitting that God knows more than I do and submitting my “wisdom” to his wisdom.
Does seeking his will mean abandoning my own desires?
This one is a “yes” and “no”. Again, what this really comes down to is… “Who’s in charge?” If I demand control of my life, trusting God becomes more than difficult – it will be nearly impossible. However, if I believe that the one who made me also dreams bigger dreams for me than I ever could for myself, it becomes much more pleasurable. Or put another way, I seek to discover his plans and those plans become my own!
Only after wrestling through the first part of this passage does the second part come to life:
… he will show you which path to take.
And isn’t this what we’re looking for? Direction. Guidance. Clarification. We want to know that the road we’re on is the right one. For the Christian this assurance is found by obeying God’s most difficult command: trust me. And as we learn to trust, we learn that the prophet Isaiah was right, his ways are not our ways. God’s ways transcend our best attempts.
I have stared at a near-blank page every day since the news of the unraveling of Mars Hill Church. All I had previously written was the title. This was no classic case of writer’s block. There is a big part of me that would rather saying nothing at all about the recent happenings in and around Seattle. There is certainly plenty that I don’t know. I don’t know Mark Driscoll. Some of my hesitance to write is because of what I do know. I know that Christians seem to be known for shooting their wounded. I don’t want to do that. I also know Mark and I are from the same generation – we’re actually the same age. I have many friends who were and are part of the Acts 29 Network which he helped start. And I know I have been challenged by some of Mark’s earliest writings. I know I always want the spirit of Jesus to flavor my actions. Sometimes that means not writing certain things – other times it means writing hard truths in a loving way.
The Bigger the Personality, the Harder they Fall
I don’t think it’s Mark’s fault (necessarily) that he is a person with a megatron personality. In fact, my theology (view of God) leads me to believe that God creates the personalities within us. That said, part of our journey is learning to submit all of ourselves to God’s control. The problems begin when our personalities leapfrog God and put us in his spot. Most of the scandals in recent memory (Jesus world or not) include an individual whose personality in some way eclipsed their reality.
The churches I know and respect systematically submit themselves to financial audits. They do so for accountability and transparency. Perhaps a structural audit would also be a good idea. This likely would not have to happen with the frequency of a financial audit, but here are some birdseye thoughts. Have an outside (completely independent of the lead pastor) source come in a for a week or more and assess the leadership structure. They would need to be given unfettered access and permission to ask hard questions. This kind of look would at least challenge an individual that may be prone to creating a spiritual monarchy.
From the beginning I have questioned the general wisdom of a multi-site approach that has one man as the primary teacher. I just think it sets a guy, whose personality is already a challenge, up to fail. I’m not saying it can never work, but I think local assemblies and shepherds are the preferred way to go. Ironically that may be the only way former Mars Hill satellites survive this ordeal.
Finally, please know that I am cheering for Mark Driscoll. I’m hoping that he will listen to voices that will tell him the truth. I’m praying that he will take time to heal and reflect on how all of this has transpired. Jesus, help Mark to be restored for the sake of your great name!
The beginning and end of this discussion should be charity, sorrow, and grief. A young woman just a few years older than my oldest daughter is dead. Her husband, family, and those that loved her are grieving. Instead of trying to win an argument, perhaps that knowledge should drive our discussions ahead of our own personal opinions. May we write and speak as if each of them is reading and listening.
The Absolutes of Scripture
For most of us that are trying to follow Jesus, the Bible is our go-to and our safety. When an issue arises within culture we immediately ask, “What does the Bible say?” There are certainly hosts of times when the answer to that question deals sufficiently with the cultural issue at hand, so we apply the Bible to our lives accordingly. Is it sufficient to only allow others to tell us what they think the Bible says about certain issues? These often well-meaning individuals could not be more wrong in terms of “truths” they claim the Bible teaches. What do we do when the Bible does not speak definitively?
When Scripture Isn’t Obvious
I am thankful to have grown up in a context that valued the authority of Scripture. In large part because of that, I do too. However, much of the way Scripture was handled in my upbringing was like this… I approach the Bible with a list of issues in hand and I try to find a verse that seems to deal with said issue. This often lead(s) to poor exegesis and/or dangerous eisegesis. Instead of forcing a text to speak to something it simply does not, it gives us credibility to admit that Scripture is simply not obvious when it is not.
When Scripture Is Silent
Thankfully there is never a point at which we are left directionless. I often draw perspective on issues where the Scripture is silent from the whole of Scripture and its attitudinal propensity. I ask myself questions like, “Do my personal thoughts and feelings line up with principles found in Scripture?” “Do my thoughts and ideas about said topic find any conflict (variance) with principles found in Scripture?”
Death With Dignity
This is a difficult and two-pronged discussion. The first part, death is always certain and final. Few people would debate that. But that second word… dignity. What is dignity as it relates to death? Ask a dozen people and you may hear nearly that many answers. Is dignity a reasonable expectation when it is attached to death? In the United States alone around two and a half million people die every year. 100% of them are dead. I doubt that a significant portion of them (or their families, for that matter) would say that they died with dignity. Another blogger and I recently disagreed about her assertion that death is beautiful. And while I understand that there are instances where death is a relief to seemingly endless cycles of pain, it is its finality that decries any beauty it may have. The Scripture even speaks of death as the last enemy. I’m not sure it’s meant to be very dignified.
A Christian Response to Death With Dignity
Is it possible that Christians can come to different conclusions on this issue? Personally, I believe that because I don’t get to decide when I show up (birth), I don’t think it is my decision when I check out (death). Are there exceptions? Probably. Respect the difficulty surrounding other’s realities regarding end-of-life decisions. Be honest (intellectually and verbally) about what the Scripture does and does not say on the subject.
As important as it is to say what you are trying to be about, I find it equally important to state what I am not trying to do or redo with this blog. The spirit of re:THINK is not to claim to know the best way. This is not about I’m right and you’re wrong. I understand that I do not necessarily see things any more clearly or better than anyone else.
Also, this is not about winning an argument… more about that to come. My experience has been that when you take a stance of trying to prove that you are right and everyone who sees it differently than you do is wrong… everyone loses.
That said, this is also not about “anything goes”… your truth v. my truth. I have observed that both ends of the spectrum are usually wanting. If the polar ends are ignorance and intelligence, both come knocking with arrogance. I will try to avoid both extremes by holding and discussing positions wrapped in humility.
Finally, this is not about me. Frankly I’m more than a little uncomfortable with a website that bears my name… and putting my picture on a website… etc. This is not about me. My aim is to create and challenge us to have thinking and conversation that is more in line with the teaching of Jesus. What are you about?
I have been blessed to grow up in the church. All of my earliest memories involve being in church and learning to love and understand the Scriptures. I still believe that following Jesus is a worthwhile pursuit. However…
Almost ten years ago now I began asking myself a difficult-to-deal-with question. It was very simply this… “If following Jesus is a worthwhile pursuit, why am I not doing more to demonstrate that to people who do not believe?” I wasn’t consumed by it… at first. It didn’t keep me awake nights… at first. It was persistent.
Around that same time I was reading all these books that were challenging the way in which I understood faith. Frankly, I was beginning to question the very essence of what it means to be Christian. In the midst of that wrestling I was certain that part of the answer was to start thinking differently about how I express my faith in Jesus to others.
In the summer of 2008 we began planting the seeds of what would become Process Church. Never before had I been so beautifully connected to people who were outside of faith. And as I began and continued to form friendships with people far from God, what I learned was that one of the biggest obstacles to them understanding the Good News about Jesus was, in fact, the way that Christians handled themselves. It was rarely about what Christians believed. It was almost always more about how Christian people expressed what they believed.
Having said all of that, my goal in writing this blog is to challenge those of us that identify as followers of Jesus to reexamine, reevaluate, and yes, re-THINK what it means to be Christian. Are you willing? Will you do the hard work and ask difficult questions of yourself? There is too much at stake to do otherwise.
For the last two years I have been trying to find and establish an identity that defines “re:THINK”. I have listened and written and observed your responses to conversations. As I have said from the beginning, I especially enjoy challenging followers of Jesus to reexamine, reevaluate, and re:THINK what it means to be Christian.
During the month of November we will interact with the heart of where this blog is headed. I believe I have learned what that is supposed to look (and sound) like. Your reaction this month will prove it. Please share with others – it’s easy. Click your favorite social media connection below!
Thursday afternoon near the end of my work day I stopped at a coffee shop on my route. I noticed a guy with a Bible and a few other books at a table nearby. We had a short conversation as he was leaving. Included in that exchange was my question, “Are you a pastor?” His answer sent me into a 3-day thought process, the fruit of which is this article. His response? “I’m just a youth pastor at ___________ Church.
I began my career as a youth pastor. From that day to this – almost 22 years worth – I have always served students in some capacity. I write these words as one who has shared your experience. I am for you.
Be A Shepherd
If you joined this game for any other reason, you should probably stop and do something else. Students and their families are your flock. You have been tasked with leading them to green pastures. Take yourself seriously and others will too. Understand the gravity of your position.
Be A Strategist
Though you may often wonder if your students are listening, they are. The data supports this notion. Ages 11-18 are among the most formative and developmental years of a child’s life. Because of this, you and I cannot afford to be casual about our approach. What an opportunity we have been given to change the landscape of Christianity by helping students understand and own their faith. Pray. Contextualize. Strategize. What was missing from your own teen experience? Be intentional.
Be A Student
First, I am not suggesting you act like you’re a teenager again. It is imperative to model that being a student is a lifelong process. Show them what you’re learning and who you are reading. Live out your faith by demonstrating that learning never stops.
If you are a Youth Pastor, thank you. Keep striving to be more than you are. If you know a Youth Pastor, please pass this on to them and encourage them to be more than JUST a youth pastor.
Throughout the Scriptures we hear teachings that refer to vineyards… and for good reason. Vineyards were good object lessons because they were everywhere. I can visually identify with this. One unexpected blessing of living in southwest Michigan was its vineyards. That experience made the analogy that much fuller.
In Isaiah chapter 5 the writer uses this image to tell a story. A story of fruitfulness. A story of the Israelites and their relationship with God. A story that is transferable to us. He uses a theme similar to the one Jesus used in Matthew 7 when He was teaching about how to distinguish false prophets from true followers. Isaiah & Jesus agree that it is the individual’s fruit that determines their spiritual health. Thankfully this is not a lesson simply about production – though many Christians seem to believe that production is the key to following Jesus. Instead it is about the type of fruit one produces.
So a better question would be… what kind of fruit am I producing? Here the distinction is between sweet grapes & wild ones or good grapes & worthless ones. The next logical question seems to be… how does one tell what kind of fruit is being produced? And while I don’t believe his answer here is the only way that you determine someone’s spiritual worth, I do believe it is reflective of the spirit of “sweetness” that he is asking for.
Verse 7 says… He (God) expected them to yield a crop of justice, but instead he found bloodshed. He expected to find righteousness, but instead He heard cries of oppression. I am painfully aware that issues of justice and oppression in our time have become cultural buzzwords and even politically pawns for power. But I cannot escape the language that is here in God’s Word. These concerns are concerns of God.
From its invention to now, I have been proud to be a part of www.one.org. I do not believe that they are the spiritual hope of the world… that job has already been spoken for. However I do believe that they are conducting the kind of business that Jesus (coincidentally the One who is the hope of the world) spoke about & they demonstrate the kind of spirit that demonstrates the good grapes that Isaiah is teaching about. A book that I have been privileged to lead several leaders through is titled The Externally Focused Church. One of its challenging thoughts for me was the idea of working with agencies (like one.org) who are not necessarily Christian. The authors’ position was that they will “… partner with any organization that is morally positive and spiritually neutral.” They go on to say that, “If churches can honor God through serving the needs of the community and creating relationships with those leading the local agencies, we may have the opportunity to share the good news of God’s grace.” In the margin of my copy of the book I wrote that by meeting needs we have already begun to give the gospel! Most people already know the gospel. They want to know if it works.
Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!
What was He saying?
Contextually this has to be about discipleship. The latter half of Luke 14 has this as its theme. Jesus is explaining what it takes to follow Him. Here’s my take on what it means to be salty and how to stay that way.
I believe the text is talking about flavor or influence. Jesus is teaching us that the best way to represent Him is to be a compelling follower. Is it possible to do this too much or too little?
I love salty snacks. I prefer a bowl of popcorn over a bowl of ice cream any day. You know the saying that you can’t get too much of a good thing? It’s a lie… you can. Several months ago I discovered that my blood pressure had skyrocketed due in large part to my addiction to salt. Similarly I remember a time I made cookies and mistakenly swapped teaspoons of salt for tablespoons. Needless to say, those were nasty cookies.
Have you ever been around a Christian who was too salty? Well meaning… trying to add flavor and influence… but completely unpalatable.
There is also the very real possibility of not being salty enough. I was eating a bag of pretzels the other day. They were supposed to be salted. I think they had 3 or 4 granules of salt per pretzel. Not tasty.
I know Christians like this as well. They say they are following Christ yet nothing about their life is influential in that regard.
So how do we stay salty? Want to. The #1 thing that holds me back from being salty is me. I enjoy chasing things that don’t matter… good things even. I substitute influence for congruence. I try to fit in when what I should be doing is helping those outside of Christ to find freedom by fitting into His plan.
There is no substitute for time with God. Nothing can replace the saltiness gained from spending time allowing God to do His transformative work.
I am reposting the story that follows with permission from Miles Coleman. Miles’ dad Fred was my first-ever vocal coach and is my friend. This story is one that is truly inexplicable. I don’t usually use the word “miracle” simply because of how it has been abused and misunderstood. But there is no other acceptable word to use for this story. No more words from me. What follows is written by Miles’ wife Anna.
Two years ago today, I was planning on working out at the 5 am CrossFit class that my husband happened to coach. I was dressed, had my shoes by the door, and at the last minute decided to stay home and go back to bed. I had a headache and thought I should rest before going to work for the day. My husband, Miles, kissed me goodbye, told me he loved me, and headed to the gym. Twenty minutes later my phone rang. I glanced at my phone and saw that it was a friend from the gym. I assumed she was going to harass me as to why I wasn’t at the gym, so like any normal person would do at 5 am, I ignored her phone call. She then texted me, “Anna, please pick up your phone.” I sensed something was wrong, and that this wasn’t a joke. I called her back and could tell her voice was shaking, she told me I needed to get to the gym as soon as possible because Miles had gotten hurt. I still was trying to process what she was saying, and didn’t fully comprehend how serious it was. I asked what was wrong, and she said he had hit his head and needed to go to the hospital. My response was to ask if he needed stitches. Clearly I didn’t have a clue as to what had transpired.
I got up out of bed, put my shoes on, and found my keys. I drove to the gym anxiously praying it wasn’t anything serious. When I arrived an ambulance was pulling away, and some of the guys from the gym took my keys and ushered me to another vehicle. I got in to the car of one of the gym members, Ryan, who happened to be a doctor, and he asked me for my phone and who should he call to meet us at the hospital. I was starting to realize this was more serious and involved more than just stitches. I was confused and asked him what he meant. He said, “you should probably call his parents, and any other family members and tell them to come down immediately.” I looked at Ryan, and asked him if it was that serious and he said yes. I also asked him if Miles was going to die, and he said, “I don’t know.” At that point I think I was in shock. I still didn’t know what happened and what was going on.
We arrived at the hospital and several of the CrossFit members arrived as well. They started to tell me what had happened that morning. While Miles was getting the class warmed up he sent them out for a 400-meter jog. The WOD that day included rope climbs. Miles was going to get the ropes down that were stored up among the rafters from which hung when in use. As he had done countless times before, he grabbed a plyometric box, and jumped up to grab a loop of the rope that was hanging down slightly from the rafters. While hanging on with only one hand, he was using the other hand to wrestle the rope down from the rafters. Somehow, his knee got tangled in the rope and he lost his grip, flipping him upside down and falling about 12 feet to the ground, where he landed directly on his head on cement. They didn’t tell me he was unresponsive, and all the blood he had lost. But I could tell by their faces and tears in their eyes they were shaken up but trying to be supportive.
Miles was placed in ICU and it was at least a couple of hours before I could see him and they had stabilized him. I finally was able see him. I walked in the ICU room and vividly remember seeing him hooked up to a ventilator and a probe coming out of his brain. The doctors and nurses were all talking and trying to explain to me what was going on. I didn’t hear them, I was still in shock staring at my husband who was currently in a coma and non-responsive. This couldn’t be real, I kept thinking. The nurse handed me a stack of papers to sign, and at that moment I broke down and lost it. I was trying to process what was happening but still couldn’t wrap my head around it. Miles suffered a traumatic brain injury from the fall and as a result had a factored skull, severe swelling in the brain, and two hematomas. I walked over to him held his hand, told him I loved him and that everything was going to be ok. I barely recognized my husband, and asked for him to squeeze my hand…but nothing. No response.
They ushered me back out to the waiting room, and I still was in a state of shock. The doctors came out and began to explain that the next 24 hours were critical. They also explained that if Miles did survive, he would most likely have serious complications and there was the possibility of never walking or talking again. They were certain he would never practice law and he may lose his memory including his memory of me. I suddenly realized how my life was probably going to change forever. I remember walking out of the hallway and not being able to breathe. Two of my friends embraced me, and our pastor came over as well. I don’t remember much from that time, but I do remember our pastor saying, “All you need to do is remember Jesus loves you and Miles.” The words were simple, but true and comforting. The One who created the world out of nothing loved me and had my best interest in mind, even in the midst of this horrible situation. I knew ultimately that Jesus loved Miles more than I did, that He would do what was best for both of us, and that I needed to trust Him.
Over the next few weeks, miracle after miracle occurred. The doctors thought they would have to do brain surgery on Miles to relieve the pressure, but moments before they began, the pressure subsided on its own. Miles was responsive that same evening by squeezing my hand. The next day a therapy dog–who happened to be a Great Dane, like our two dogs–came to visit. I leaned over and told Miles there was a dog that came to visit him, he lifted his hand up and placed his hand on the dog. A few days later they took the ventilator out of his mouth, they asked who his wife was and he said my name. Three days after the accident a physical therapist came down and he was able to walk. The doctors were astounded and nicknamed him “Miracle Miles.” They had never seen someone with such a severe brain injury begin to recover so rapidly. We spent 11 days total in the hospital and then went to an inpatient rehabilitation hospital.
When we left for rehab, I started to notice that Miles wasn’t quite his normal jovial self. He was extremely serious, and it almost seemed as if he lost his sense of humor and filter. I was warned by the doctors that the part of his brain that was injured could affect his personality. But, I was so excited because it seemed he would make a full recovery physically that I dismissed any signs in the hospital of a personality change. As we progressed through rehab, it was apparent his personality had changed. I was heart broken, and kept asking the doctors if he would return back to the way he use to be. Of course, they couldn’t tell me yes or no, but just said it would take time. I prayed and prayed that God would restore his personality. Honestly, the thought of living with someone who acted different than the person I married quite frankly scared me. I knew that if God had healed him this far, he could continue to completely heal his brain and mind and restore his personality that he created in Miles. While sitting in rehab, I would play sermons out loud and Christian music. I clung to the truth and knew Miles had hidden God’s word in his heart and those truths would not be void. I prayed that the Holy Spirit who dwelled inside of him would be evident and his personality would return. After spending two weeks at inpatient therapy we were able to go home. Once we got home, little by little Miles personality was restored. He continued out-patient therapy until December, and then was cleared. Amazing!
Now, two years later, looking back before the accident, it’s amazing to see how God had prepared us to go through this trial without us even knowing what was coming. He provided a church family after almost a year of searching, he provided us with a second car so that when my parents unexpectedly flew in we would have a way to transport them back and forth to the hospital, I had recently moved to a new school with an incredibly supportive staff. Finally, he providentially placed at the accident scene an EMS worker, a fire fighter, two doctors–one of whom was the chief of staff at the hospital–and two nurses in the CrossFit class that morning. Miles was able to receive immediate medical attention seconds after the accident occurred.
Fast forward to today, it’s by God’s kindness and grace that Miles is doing so well. If I were to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have believed you if you would have told me two years later that Miles would still be working as a lawyer and we would have a son. Not only did God restore Miles’ health and personality, but Miles has had some amazing opportunities in his career the past year and a half. He has been able to write several briefs that were submitted to the United States Supreme Court, argue before the South Carolina Supreme Court, and work on a number of other significant cases. This truly is a testament of God’s amazing healing power that allowed Miles’ brain to be restored. Laura Story’s song, “Blessings” was a great encouragement to me during that time. The trial he allowed us to go through turned out to be one his greatest blessing…
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace,
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep,
We pray for healing, for prosperity,
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.
All the while You hear each spoken need,
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.
‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops,
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights,
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear,
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near,
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love,
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough.
And all the while You hear each desperate plea,
And long that we’d have faith to believe.
‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops,
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights,
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?
When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win,
We know that pain reminds this heart,
That this is not, this is not our home,
It’s not our home.
‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops,
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights,
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst,
This world can’t satisfy?
And what if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights,
Are Your mercies in disguise?
I’m extremely blessed that I have a husband who is alive and healthy and that we are blessed with a son as well. When our son was born we decided to name him Asher, which means “blessed” or “blessing” in Hebrew. God has been gracious to me and has blessed me with two miracles in my life, Miles and Asher. I have learned that life is a gift, cherish your loved ones, and do not take them for granted. I would have never chosen to go through the trial that the Lord allowed us to go through; however, it has changed our lives and made us appreciate each day the Lord gives to us.